The Shed

The Shed

The shed has been reduced to a pile of rubble.
The shed has been reduced to a pile of rubble.

Once upon a time there was a shed. It was illegally built under the power lines. It almost tripped up our purchase of our home.

Lawyers.

We said we’d take it down. We were going to take it down last summer when we discovered that a poison ivy tree was growing inside of it. Yes, I said tree.

The people who we hired to get rid of the poison ivy tree said that it had probably been growing for fifteen years. They had never seen one that big. So, they had to wait for ideal conditions to spray the plant with what I can only imagine is weapons grade plutonium. Then it had to take a few weeks to die. So, the shed did not come down last summer.

This summer we are getting a new fence and a new patio. I know, you probably think I’m some kind of monster for replacing that sweet chain link fence in the background. At any rate, we needed to tear down the shed in order to get the new fence installed. So my father-in-law came over today to help.

Let me tell you, they were serious about construction in the 1950s. That damn shed must have had about ten thousand nails in it. The roof was shingled well. And the goddamn vinyl siding kept slowing down our destruction.

I learned a couple of things. Swinging a sledgehammer is hard. At least for a soon-to-be 37-year old (2-days from now…be sure to wish me “Happy Birthday” on Facebook unless you want to get unfriended.) Usually, I do something vaguely athletic and then I’m sore the next day. I knew that today was special, because I felt sore fairly immediately. Tomorrow will likely be murder.

But the shed is down!

Just in time, too. The sky opened up and it started pouring. Our basement stairwell immediately started flooding, because our patio is pitched towards it (which is why we are getting a new one) and our gutter system seems to be inadequate. So my wife and I spent the duration of the storm in the basement with the wet vac and some mops.

Someday we’ll get this house in order.

Someday.

 

 

 

Sharing is caring:

Published by Josh Hammond

Josh Hammond writes things. He has an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults from Hamline University.

2 Replies on “The Shed

  1. I’m jealous of the housework you just did. We have so much to do this summer and i’m thinking we probably won’t get to any of it (just because of MFA stuff and lack of PTO). We’ll see though.

    We got a new patio for our house maybe 5 years ago and they super graded it away from our house (for the same reason) and i’m not going to lie, i luuurve my patio

  2. That’s encouraging. We’re on the list to have the patio done, but they can’t give us a definite day (it all depends on the weather.) Unfortunately, it’s been raining like crazy lately, so I’m sure it will be mid-September or something.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.*

css.php